Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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