Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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