HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Less talking, more tequila
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
