Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
