so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
