I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
