and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
