She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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