WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I forgot how hot balto sounded
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
