She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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