She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I just gargled with NyQuil
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
