I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
