i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
