I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
