I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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