I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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