i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
