Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I believe in your delicious
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
