How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
