You're completely useless in the revolution.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
