Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
