I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
