I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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