your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
