It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I am midnight drunk by noon
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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