just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
