I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
