I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
