Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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