First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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