ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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