I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
