erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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