Non-Jews are for practice
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
