ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
