before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
