It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
