Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
