I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I look excited, but its just a facade.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
