your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
