I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
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