wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
