he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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