I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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