He kissed a someone with a penis
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I am one with the molecules
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
