How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
