i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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