I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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