do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
