a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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