Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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