I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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